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The Dread Captain Cretin, a REAL pirate

"if there isn't any music, pls wait for it"

so there I was sailing about for the sheer pleasure of the open winds and loving arms of the sea (doing 8x8), I had wandered purely by accident to a spot where I could sail endlessly north to south. since I was already there, and whoah, is this lrc I'm wearing? I decided to manually train up a few skills while attending and pressing keys repeatedly 1000+ times. I had barely finished rolling an, um, cigarette when who wouldst fall upon the horizon?

OMG Captain Cretin!

now, I'm not saying the captain of a one man ship is any less important than one with a crew, or that a mage shouldn't wear a dread captains hat and non med armor, but then hey, I'm not a pirate. are you a pirate?

Captain cretin began to dance the way mc hammer used to before he weighed 300 lbs, and I found myself engulfed in a noxious green field. crazy, I thought as I stood immune (petals) but now more curious than ever, I pulled in closer for a chat.

what an amazing and pleasant fellow, and rather nice in his own bad smelling way. I held my breath as we spoke for a bit about wordly things, then he just got plain weird. Talking about how his day went, fashion. crossing his legs, what not. I couldn't help noticing that he was wearing a dress. I could hear backstreet boys playing softly from the cabin of his vessel, the frilly lace of his curtains pulsed softly in the window to the oh so danceable beats.

Holy bejesus! oooooooookay captain, I just remembered I gotta be somewhere. can you see me again?! uh... suuure. yah, this is a disguise kit name tho, my real name is Skif.

anyways... I rammed his boat, shocking him and spilling his iced tea everywhere. just eeeverywhere! Siezing the moment I casted on him as he struggled with the stain. Now again, I'm not saying his armor wasn't top notch, or that he didn't maybe

e-bolt himself
but he tripped on his croquet set and fell overboard.

I can't swim!!! Oh, for crying out loud. I pulled alongside and let him crawl onto the deck whimpering and blubbering like a little girl. "how could you?" he screamed, blowing his nose loudly on an insured handkerchief. a handkerchief?! INSURED?! I could barely contain my disgust as I drop kicked him back overboard. I heard lots of splashing as I sailed away, it's ok though....

Pirates can swim right??

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